My Frustration With Authors


Authors are driving me nuts right now. I have faithfully loved, endured, and patiently awaited each novel/trilogy, and death and mayhem is all I receive as a reward! Endurance is supposed to create character according to the Bible but all I’ve got is frustration to show for it. Now, I know this is very unfair to those who produce quality books; it takes so much time, dedication, and your heart and soul to create a good book. I understand that. But what I don’t understand is why an author creates an amazing male character (Julian from “Pandemonium” and Linden from “Wither”) and then does not develop them in the final book, and then attempts to kill them and their underdeveloped companions! Why, I ask?! If you created such an amazing character you would think as an author you would want to keep everyone guessing who is going to end up with who, but noooooo! They instead take that fabulous character and make them almost non-existent in the last book so that it doesn’t hurt as much when the other couple gets together. If you are going to do that as an author, then why the heck even have another character added? We know who is going to end up with who by the way the author is developing a character, so why even make up another? Your not keeping us guessing, we all know what is going to happen. So instead they continue to play on our heart strings, very unsatisfactorily I might add (i love bitter-sweet endings, but do it well people, please), and leave us face first in the dirt. I don’t like dirt…

This is my dilemma: why do authors make these characters and then just cast them aside haphazardly? Here are just a few fabulous male leads that had this happen to for no apparent reason(s)(be careful, there are spoilers below):

1. Finnick from “Catching Fire” and “Mockingjay” by Suzanne Collins dies, not with honor or grace or heroics, but by a nasty weird lizard creature in a dank tunnel. Really? No preamble with that one; one minute Finnick is amazing and alive, and then bam! he’s dead. I was so surprised, not by the fact that he died, but by the way his life was ended. I had to read those two paragraphs a few times to kind of understand what happened. I cried myself to sleep  for a week over that one.

2. Linden from “Wither” and “Sever” by Lauren DeStefano is someone you don’t even want me to get started on. Yes, I still have not read “Sever” because of this reason. Really, Lauren? Dies by pathetic bump on the head. Really? Linden was one of those characters that I fell in love with even though I probably shouldn’t have. He was so amazing, smart and sweet that it was hard to dislike him. But no, even though Gabriel was underdeveloped, Lauren still decided to kill Linden off, and to have Rhine (idiot that she is) end up with Gabriel despite the fact that Rhine never really loved him; he was her scape goat and so she settles. Oh, joy!

3. Julian from “Pandemonium” and “Requiem” by Lauren Oliver was one of my fab five men of 2012. I had waited nearly an entire year to read “Requiem” and do you know what I got? Hmmmm? NOTHING! I didn’t even read “Requiem” because I had heard all I needed about it to know that I don’t want to read that book, if you can even call it that! Lauren Oliver was one of my favorite authors; she is an amazing writer, but what the heck happened with “Requiem”? A lot of people agree with me and my sisters on this because it’s rating on different websites is an average of three and a half stars, and that is only a couple of weeks after it came out. Who knows, maybe in a year it will be in the low threes or even the twos dare I say! From what I hear (and I can’t pass judgment because I did not drink of the book) “Requiem” was super boring, and the only interesting character was not Alex or Julian, but Hana of all people who is now just another unemotional robot. Why, I ask, did Lauren Oliver do that? Her male leads are no longer the leading men, their just there, ghosts of what they use to be. I’d be angry even if I was an Alex fan (which I am not). I’m no longer angry about “Requiem”, but I am disappointed; Lauren Oliver is a better writer than that book, and it’s sad to see an author end such a great trilogy like that.

Sooooo, after experiencing these travesties first-hand (and not so first-hand), I found myself with only a peptic ulcer to comfort me. And not the good kind; these ones just hurt. Hopefully your heart, if you have read these, was not as severely broken as mine. After this many heart breaks, I think I might stop on the second book of all trilogies, especially dystopians…for now, that is.

Here are a few pictures that describe the emotions I felt when each of these characters were desecrated. Yes, desecrated.

my reaction

This was probably the expression on my face when Finnick died. The horse represents the Grim Reaper. You know who I am.

 bad news reaction

Here’s Linden…no words needed.


Basically the top picture is my denial, and the bottom is me realizing “you know what” hit the fan.

Thank you for reading this and hopefully inadvertently empathizing with me!


Are You Serious?!


I am officially stopping each of my favorite trilogies after the second book…I can’t take anymore heartbreak!

I am writing this post because of “Requiem” by Lauren Oliver. “Delirium” and “Pandemonium” were amazing, fantastic, beautiful, and new. Tasty morsels those were, but “Requiem” I can’t read! My sister read it and she is the kind of person that will keep a whole series even if the last book is total you know what. But no, “Requiem” she listed with the first two the very next morning after she finished it. From her reaction to the book (not just the ending) it seemed like a…well, turd. “Sever” by Lauren DeStefano broke my heart, and now “Requiem” broke it all over again. Instead of reading it, I asked my sister what it was about and how it ended. These are just a few of my feelings:


This is what I looked like when I heard it wasn’t even well written and that it was boring. Lauren Oliver is not a “boring” author…


I’m waiting for some good news to present itself…


and instead I ended up that night with what felt like a peptic ulcer, and severe disappointment to keep me warm. Disappointment is not warm. “Delirium” and “Pandemonium” were amazing, but why did Ms. Oliver write this book? It would have been better to have ended it with “Pandemonium” on a high note instead of this book. Lauren Oliver is a fantastic writer, but something went wrong here.

All that being said, I didn’t actually read it, couldn’t bring myself to. My sister and I have very similar tastes in books, so I trust her opinion, and if I was an Alex fan, I’d still be disappointed.

The Lost Girl by Sangu Mandanna

the lost girl by Sangu Mandanna

“The Lost Girl” by Sangu Mandanna

3 1/2 out of 5 stars.

Eva is illegal. She is an Echo of another’s loved one; she can be destroyed, unraveled just because of what her creation stands for: a replacement. Eva is an Echo, a being created out of the DNA of another human. Families that are afraid to lose loved ones, and are rich enough, have Echos created. DNA of that loved one is taken and an Echo of them woven, and if that human is ever to die before their time, the replica is put in their place. No longer does anyone have to endure the loss of a most beloved daughter, son, mother, father, or grandparent. Everything is great except for the fact that Echos are illegal, and severe punishment for the Echo as well as its owners are in place. But as long as no one finds out…

Eva knows what she is, that if anyone knew who or what she is that it could mean the end of her and her “family.” She has been raised by people assigned to watch over her, teach her how to be like her original. Despite what she is, Eva’s protectors love her and she loves them. Their job is to teach her all that her original  is learning; she is given her originals diaries to know what has happened in the girl’s life; she learns her mannerisms, her habits, Eva knows everything about the girl. But Eva wants to be more than just a replacement, she want to be more than an Echo: she wants to be Eva.

All her hopes and dreams, though, are shattered when her original dies in a tragic car accident in India. Before she knows it everything has changed, and now her life is in danger. As Eva assumes her original’s life, she finds many things out about herself, and about her existence. Will she ever have a chance to live her own life, love those she chooses to love, or will she be forever fated to live as an emulation of something real? Can this lost girl ever be found?

“The Lost Girl” by Sangu Mandanna was a new concept to me being a spin-off of “Frankenstein” by Mary Shelley. I have not read “Frankenstein” so I don’t know whether “The Lost Girl” does it justice or not, but I really enjoyed this story.  I thought Eva was an interesting character, and I didn’t mind at all reading about her and being in her head unlike certain female characters (Triss and Katnis Everdeen). The whole concept of the book is interesting in itself. I mean who would you be, and what would you do if you were in Eva’s shoes? She cannot exert her own freewill, she could be killed at any moment not because of what she did but what she is, and even if she would allow herself to fall in love, she wouldn’t be allowed to stay with him. Overall, her life kind of stinks.

I also found Eva’s family and her relationship with them to be really cute and I liked the scenes they were in; Sean was an interesting person, too. I really enjoyed him as a character and hope that he is in the next book  if Sangu Mandanna writes a conclusion. Another thing I really enjoyed was Eva’s original’s family. They at first were hesitant to get super close to Eva, but after a while the little boy and girl and Eva all became very close, and that was just darling. Overall, I think that Sangu Mandanna created a very enjoyable book for science fiction lovers, as well as fantasy lovers.

Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi (Shatter Me #1)

shatter me

Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi

4 out of 5 stars.

Juliette can’t touch anyone. Well she can, but she wont. If she did, she would hurt someone else. Again…

Juliette is not your average teenager, instead she has the power to hurt, to kill other humans around her with just a touch. It has been 264 days since she has touched anyone and she is glad for it because that means she hasn’t hurt someone for 264 days. But that achievement is shattered when Adam arrives. Juliette never expected to see him. Ever. Stuck together in a four-walled room, a prison that doesn’t feed or care for them, Juliette finds it nice (but scary) to have human interaction. And after time it seems okay, that maybe she can be around someone and not hurt them, that is until she accidentally makes physical contact with Adam. She waits for him to die…but he doesn’t.

Things begin brewing beneath their feet, and with Juliette’s discovery that she can touch one person, another one arises: she can touch two. Why can she touch these two people? Is there a reason for it, or is it just chance? Can Juliette find her purpose in life, use her curse for good or is she destined only to destroy. Will she choose to be a weapon, or a warrior for what is right?

“Shatter Me” was an interesting book; the writing style was a little eccentric (because Juliette is little…out of the ordinary), but after a while you get used to it. It was kind of interesting, the fact that Juliette has never been able to touch anyone without hurting them, and then finally being allowed human interaction. What would you do if you were Juliette? “Shatter Me” was also the first book (ever)where I liked the bad guy. No, I am not one of those girls who likes the bad boys; I actually tend to go for the really nice friend(s) (who never seem to win!). But in “Shatter Me” I was intrigued by Warner, I wanted to know what made him that way, and what makes him tick, so to speak. I mean Adam was fine, but I just didn’t care, but with Warner, I don’t know…he was just so different from other bad guys in books. For him, there must have been something, someone who did something to him for him to choose that course in life. I want to know what that is. I don’t condone his behavior at all; he’s evil. I don’t like that fact, but there is more to him than meets the eye, and I want to know what that is.

Okay, on to other things…I felt that “Shatter Me”, nearing the end, turns into a super hero book. It was still enjoyable but a little corny too. I really liked Adam’s friend, Kenji, who comes in towards the end of the book. He was the comedic relief of this dystopian! I also liked Juliette a lot. I enjoyed her in the fact that she had a good heart. She never wanted to hurt anyone, never even wanted the powers she has. At times I ached for her; she had been rejected by her parents, she never had been accepted by other kids her age, and had been thrown into a prison. She’s only seventeen! I couldn’t imagine that, which made it interesting to think about who you would be if you were in the same situation. Would you take hold of power and use your abilities for your own advantage, or would you try to use them to help others, to free them? Overall I really liked “Shatter Me”, and I now own it. So, there you have it!

P.S. Someone posted this picture on Apparently this is how they imagined what Warner would look like.

not hatin'

I’m not hatin’…

Delirium by Lauren Oliver


“Delirium” by Lauren Oliver

4 out of 5 stars.

Delirium is the story of a girl named Lena. She’s your average teenage girl, living in a society that believes that love is a disease (if that is what you call average). Deliria nervosa has claimed countless lives, but lucky for Lena the government created a cure, and now she has a chance to survive life without being claimed by the infectious deliria.

Lena is just an average teen who believes that love is a disease, and that love must be eradicated before it infects anyone else. She was the daughter of an infected mother, so she would know first-hand what the deliria’s affects look like.  Lena’s greatest desire is to be cured, and she is anxious for her eighteenth birthday: the day her cure will be administered.

Lena’s mind is made up, she will be cured, but then he arrives and with him comes trouble. As Lena and Alex are thrown into the unknown sea of life, they find together something that they never should have: love. Everything Lena has ever known, everything she believed in is shaken with this revelation. Why did her society teach her that love was a disease? What could be so threatening about it? And as the questions go unanswered her and Alex’s love is tried on every side. They only have so much time, barely a few months until her procedure, only a little while longer and then their time together will disappear along with the memory of their love. Can Lena endure her decision to be cured, or can she find a way to escape? Can she find a place safe enough, free enough to love freely?

Delirium was one of the first books of 2012 that just blew my mind. Lauren Oliver is an amazing author in that her concept for the Delirium trilogy is great, and also the way she writes is fantastic. While reading Delirium I found myself fascinated despite the fact that it started out slower. I mean the concept that love is illegal is very interesting and that the government punishes anyone who is even in consorts with it. Crazy! I also felt that Oliver did a great job of developing Lena as a character. In the beginning she is a hard-core “cure” believer. Having a “diseased” mother might do that to you. But Lena was great in the fact that she didn’t change immediately; on her first encounter with Alex she is extremely wary of him. It is frowned upon in her society to be around men (if you are a girl, obviously) and they are not cured. Though Alex is cured, she is still careful by nature but she is also still a curious teenage girl. He’s not like the others, and as time passes and she sees him more often, her walls start to break down and then she starts to change. It wasn’t this immediate “Oh, it was love at first sight!” thing. It was a little faster (because she only had so much time) than I normally like but it was realistic enough. 

I also thought Lauren Oliver did a pretty good job on creating a fairly likable guy in Alex. I mean, he was interesting and nice, and I liked him but I wasn’t in love with his character; he’s just not my type. Obviously, though, Lauren created a great guy character for most people (girls are die-hard Alex fans most of the time), and she did an amazing job of creating a memorable and intriguing society. Overall, Delirium was a hit for me. It was interesting and new conceptually for a dystopian. Bravo!



“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.” — J.R.R. Tolkien

“If raindrops were kisses, I’d send you showers.
If hugs were seas, I’d send you oceans.
And if love were a person, I’d send you me.”

–Emily Bronte

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity;

and the universe I’m not sure about.”

–Albert Einstein

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because

reality is finally better than your dreams.”

–Dr. Seuss

“A room without books is like a body without a soul.”

–Marcus Tullius Cicero

Rochester: “Jane, be still; don’t struggle so like a wild, frantic bird, that is rending its own plumage in its desperation.
“Jane: “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being, with an independent will; which I now exert to leave you.”
― Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre
“I have for the first time found what I can truly love–I have found you. You are my sympathy–my better self–my good angel–I am bound to you with a strong attachment. I think you good, gifted, lovely: a fervent, a solemn passion is conceived in my heart; it leans to you, draws you to my centre and spring of life, wrap my existence about you–and, kindling in pure, powerful flame, fuses you and me in one.”
–Charlotte Bronte,  Jane Eyre

“I do not think, sir, you have any right to command me, merely because you are older than I, or because you have seen more of the world than I have; your claim to superiority depends on the use you have made of your time and experience.”

–Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

“It is a long way to Ireland, Janet, and I am sorry to send my little friend on such weary travels: but if I can’t do better, how is it to be helped? Are you anything akin to me, do you think, Jane?”

I could risk no sort of answer by this time: my heart was still.

“Because,” he said, “I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you – especially when you are near me, as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame. And if that boisterous channel, and two hundred miles or so of land some broad between us, I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I’ve a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly. As for you, – you’d forget me.”

–Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

“We know that God is everywhere; but certainly we feel His presence most when His works are on the grandest scale spread before us; and it is in the unclouded night-sky, where His worlds wheel their silent course, that we read clearest His infinitude, His omnipotence, His omnipresence.”

–Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

“Jane, my little darling (so I will call you, for so you are), you don’t know what you are talking about; you misjudge me again: it is not because she is mad I hate her. If you were mad, do you think I should hate you?”

“I do indeed, sir.”

“Then you are mistaken, and you know nothing about me, and nothing about the sort of love of which I am capable. Every atom of your flesh is as dear to me as my own: in pain and sickness it would still be dear. Your mind is my treasure, and if it were broken, it would be my treasure still: if you raved, my arms should confine you, and not a strait waistcoat–your grasp, even in fury, would have a charm for me: if you flew at me as wildly as that woman did this morning, I should receive you in an embrace, at least as fond as it would be restrictive. I should not shrink from you with disgust as I did from her: in your quiet moments you should have no watcher and no nurse but me; and I could hang over you with untiring tenderness, though you gave me no smile in return; and never weary of gazing into your eyes, though they had no longer a ray of recognition for me.”

–Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

“In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

–Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in F. W.

I must go, uncertain of my fate… A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father’s house this evening or never.”

–Jane Austen, Persuasion
“I cannot make speeches, Emma…If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it.”
“Mr. Knightley, if I have not spoken, it is because I am afraid I will awaken myself from this dream.”
–Jane Austen, Emma
Let Me Not To The Marriage Of True Minds.
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
Oh, no! it is an ever-fixéd mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come’
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
–William Shakespear
Batter My Heart, Three-Personed God.
Batter my heart, three-person’d God, for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o’erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp’d town to another due,
Labor to admit you, but oh, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captiv’d, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be lov’d fain,
But am betroth’d unto your enemy;
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.
–John Donne